The reason that having a roommate is so stressful, especially right now, is that when you're around someone else who you can't treat like a stranger or totally ignore you have to make room for them. And having to constantly fucking make room for someone in your personal psychological space is stressful because it makes you emptier, that part of you is vacant because you need a space to live without considering other people because two people can't occupy the same body. And by body I mean body, I mean a room that is supposed to be an extension of yourself where you can sleep and think and live and do everything having a body entails. College means never being alone, and I fucking hate it. My mom loved having a roommate because she's terrified of her own mind, of the things she might love or hate that she isn't supposed to. I am not a pussy like that. It isn't a problem with my roommate now, she's actually great as far as roommates go, it's just how things are. I need to be alone, to have my own space, to be comfortable and act like myself.

I know Mike is right because he can come into my space without invading it, without making me feel like I have to act differently to accommodate him. I genuinely think the unadulterated version of me is too much for most people, but we bring each other out, we do each other good. But this past year I've been constantly living like there's someone else around. I mean there is but it's a mindset too, and I can change that part at least.

I like to live by my likes and dislikes. It isn't a purely carnal thing - actually, it hardly is. It isn't about consuming. It's about tasting and either rejecting or taking in what's on the big appetizer sampler plate of my surroundings. It's about the power to do that, and the genuine desire to Do The Right Thing.